


Footprints

by NanakiBH



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Devotion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot Collection, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:06:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4113238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While time may erase their footprints, the indelible marks they left on the world remain to prove that they existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Magic Hour's Light

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a kind anon on tumblr who provided some prompts. I liked all of them, so I wrote them all.
> 
> For this part, the first prompt was "ludger pre-spirius entrance exam training".

The sunny spot on the living room carpet made an ideal spot for Rollo to take a nap and a fine place for Ludger to sit and fold the laundry. When Julius wasn't home, he liked to leave the TV on just to keep the apartment from feeling too quiet. Before Julius found Rollo, he was always by himself when Julius was at work. Because his hours were unpredictable, there were many times when he would wake up and Julius would already be gone. When he was younger, there was something about that silence that made him feel vulnerable, so the lively sounds of cartoons helped him relax when his brother wasn't there to sing for him.

Strange how the silence still made him worry.

“A vacation would be nice,” he said to himself as he folded a pair of Julius's pants. Rollo cracked open one of his eyes and tilted his head a little to look at him. Smiling softly, Ludger set the pants he folded on top of the stack of other folded clothes and laid down next to Rollo.

Lightly, he put a hand on Rollo's back, not quite petting.

They just didn't spend the same amount of time together that they used to. After graduating from high school, he thought he might have more time with him, having the immature thought that he might be able to stay at home and cook for him and fold his laundry like this forever, but Julius seemed to be gone more often now. If it were work, then Julius couldn't help that, but there was something about the distance that almost felt intentional.

It reminded him of the way that Julius had been when they were younger, before he started smiling every day. Back then, all Ludger had to do was make pasta for him and everything had been healed.

“What do you think, Rollo? We could go to Rieze Maxia for a few days. I heard that they have some nice beaches there. Would you like to see what an ocean's like?” he asked, running his hand down Rollo's back. Predictably, Rollo just yawned.

He'd never seen the ocean before. There weren't many large bodies of water in Elympios, just lots of mountains and wilderness. If they took a little vacation to Rieze Maxia, he might be able to find out if there were anything bothering Julius, he figured. And if there were, then a vacation would probably be just the thing to make him feel better.

He rolled onto his back and put an arm over his eyes and spent a few minutes listening to the TV. He hadn't been paying enough attention to what was on to know what was happening, so his thoughts started to wander. Before he knew it, the warmth of that sunny spot began to lull him into an unexpected sleep filled with his worried thoughts.

Sometime later, the sound of someone at the door forced his eyes to open. The cartoon had already ended and Rollo had gotten up to run to the door. Rolling onto his stomach, Ludger looked up and found his brother inside by the door, kneeling down to pet Rollo.

He looked really drained.

“Oh,” he said suddenly, like he'd been so distracted that he hadn't even noticed Ludger or heard the TV. For a second, he seemed to fight to find the words. “...I'm home.”

That hadn't become something difficult for him to say, had it? Why did he look so tired when he said it?

“Welcome back,” Ludger said, pushing himself up, embarrassed that he'd been caught laying down when he should've finished folding the laundry. He looked around and found his phone next to him on the floor and used it to check the time. Less time had passed than he thought. Julius was actually home early this time.

Rollo nudged Julius in the leg, telling him to stand, pushing him farther inside.

Ludger couldn't help but wonder if there were things that Julius only told Rollo.

“Brother, are you alright?” he asked, unable to hold back the concern from his voice.

Moving sluggishly, Julius took off his jacket and hung it by the door, then came to the living room and sat down heavily on the sofa behind him. “I'm...” But he trailed off. Ludger didn't press it, watching him, waiting, giving him the time to figure out what it was he really wanted to say. “I've been thinking that it might be time for you to find a job and a place for yourself, but I think I like having you here with me too much. I just don't want you to feel too dependent on me.”

“A place for myself...? I-I can find a job if that's what's bothering you. I don't want to feel like a freeloader if that's how you see me.”

Julius smiled and got off the couch, coming to sit next to Ludger in the patch of sunlight that was beginning to fade as the minutes headed into evening. The smile he gave him looked a little worn out, but it still affected Ludger just the same as ever, making him feel warm inside.

“I just worry that I may have made a mistake by coddling you so much.”

Ludger laughed, too glad to see him smiling to feel annoyed by what he said. “I can take care of myself.”

After giving Ludger's hair a good ruffling, Julius laid down next to him and welcomed Rollo into his arms, laying on the floor with him on his chest. When he saw him like that with an expression so unguarded and honest, it was easy for Ludger to forget that he'd been worrying about anything. There was a dangerous part of him that wanted to lean down and give him a kiss, but he knew that now wasn't the time. Someday soon, maybe. He'd find the right moment.

Glancing at the basket full of unfolded clothes, Ludger sighed, then stared at his brother as he played with Rollo. He couldn't trust him to fold the clothes. If he did, they were going to get wrinkled and messed up. Disastrous things happened when he tried to have Julius help him with the housekeeping. Julius came home earlier than he expected, so it was probably fine if he took the time to fold the rest of the clothes before he got up to start dinner.

“I swear...” he muttered, watching Julius and Rollo out of the corners of his eyes with an exasperated smile as he went back to work.

The silence that filled the room that was interrupted by commercials and the playful sound of Rollo's meowing was the pleasant sort of silence that Ludger loved. When his attention was drawn by a commercial advertising travel in Rieze Maxia, he remembered his earlier idea, and he turned to Julius.

“We should take a vacation to Rieze Maxia. I want to go to the beach. Think about it – we could get bathing suits and go swimming and get a little floaty for Rollo.”

Julius looked like he was unsure until he heard the part about Rollo in a floaty. “I've been busy lately, but I could probably figure something out with the company,” he said, idly stroking Rollo's fur. Releasing a soft breath, he rolled his head back and looked up at the ceiling with the same distant smile on his face. “I think... I'd like to make a few more good memories.”

Soon, Ludger told himself. He could tell that something big was in store for him. He hoped that it would be that chance he'd been waiting for.


	2. White Petals Reflecting the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this part was "ludger doesn't remember his mother, but he thinks he must dream of her, sometimes".

He rolled onto his side to face him and tried to find what sort of face his brother was making, hidden beneath deep shadows.

“Big brother...” he whispered, unsure of whether he were still awake to hear him. Knowing what short patience he had for him, Ludger didn't want to bother him, but there was something nagging at him, and he wouldn't be able to sleep until he got it out.

Julius opened one eye, but closed it immediately, his mouth flattened into an unfriendly slant.

He was just going to ignore him.

But Ludger really wanted to talk to him. It was late, and he knew that Julius had to get up early and go to work, but he wanted him to listen. It wasn't going to take very long. All Julius had to do was answer one simple thing and then he would leave him alone.

“Big broth-”

“Go to sleep already or I'm going to make you go back to your room,” he spat out, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut.

Quietly, Ludger sucked in a breath and tried to hide the way that his words hurt him. Pulling up his knees under the covers, he wrapped his arms around them and tucked his chin against his chest.

To Julius, he was just an annoying baby. Was it because they were alone now? He couldn't help wondering if everything had been his fault somehow. He couldn't remember anything, but he knew Julius. His big brother was the only thing he knew, the only thing he could feel sure of.

He wanted to cling to him, and he wanted Julius to hold onto him as well – to _want_ to hold onto him and care for him and love him, but he was afraid that he'd already ruined everything somehow. Things couldn't have always been this miserable, his young mind thought. When he tried to search his memory, the only thing that returned was the vague memory of someone's gentle, loving smile. Sure that he couldn't remember their father, he wondered whose smile it was he saw, who had looked at him that way.

Had it been their mother's smile? Or was it Julius's?

If it were his big brother's, then he couldn't feel worse. A profound despair filled his heart when he wondered whether Julius would ever look at him that way again, whether he'd been the one to make him stop smiling.

“Big... bro-”

This time, his words were halted by tears that caused his breath to stutter.

With an aggravated sigh, Julius sat up. “What now? What are you crying about?”

“I'm sorry,” he sobbed, unable to hold back his tears. Pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes, he sniffled loudly and tried to make them go away, but the sounds of his own pathetic sniffling and hiccuping only made him cry more loudly. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry for annoying you.”

Julius clicked his tongue and turned away, disturbed even by his crying.

He would've stopped crying if he could, but holding it in only hurt.

“What do you expect me to do...?” he heard Julius mutter to himself. Even if he still sounded annoyed, Ludger was so desperate for his affection that he let himself hear that as Julius's concern.

Anything.

He just wanted someone to hold him and make him feel less confused.

“I'm sorry, alright? You can stop crying. I would've tried to be more patient if I had known you were just going to start crying like this...”

Though he didn't know what he was supposed to tell him, he could tell that Julius was waiting for him to give him an answer, so he said what he was feeling. “I remember... when I was crying, someone would hold me. Someone would... Someone would smile at me and tell me it was going to be okay. I don't want to cry. I know I'm just annoying you, but I can't stop. I-I'm sorry.”

Julius made a sound; something that Ludger interpreted as surprise. For a minute, he was quiet and the room echoed with the sounds of Ludger's tearful breaths. Eventually relenting for some unspoken reason, Julius laid back down and turned over to face him, giving him his attention.

“So?” he asked, his voice sounding a little gentler. “What did you want to say to me so badly before?”

The tears finally seemed to be coming to a stop, giving Ludger time to breathe and think about what it was he was going to say. He was tired, and, after all of that, it was hard for him to even remember what it was he had on his mind that was so important to ask him. Like that smile he remembered, though, it came back to him suddenly.

“Are you sure there isn't anything you can tell me about mommy?” he asked.

Some sort of emotion Ludger couldn't understand flashed through Julius's wide eyes. Before he could ask him what was wrong, Julius rolled over and faced the wall, pulling the covers up around himself.

“I don't remember anything,” he said. “Just like you. I don't remember anything, okay? Don't ask me again.”

His answer was so abrupt and unexpected, but Ludger felt like he understood. Seeing the way that Julius reacted when he asked him about her reminded him of the way his thoughts felt whenever he tried to remember anything about her. When he tried to recall his memories, they all ran away from him. Maybe it was just as hard for Julius, being unable to remember.

Suddenly, he felt even worse, feeling guilty for asking him about their mother when Julius probably felt the same way.

“I'm sorry. I won't ask again,” he told him, quietly gathering some of the blankets for himself, trying to keep a fair distance between himself and his brother. His heart ached when he looked up and saw Julius's back. It looked so lonely. Julius probably really missed them, but he was older, so he couldn't admit it. Realizing that, Ludger wished that he could do something. “I'll try to be a better brother from now on. And- Th... Thank you for always taking care of me, big brother.”

There was another small moment of silence.

“You don't have to thank me. I'm just doing what I should.”

Even though Julius couldn't see it, Ludger smiled.


	3. The Devotion of the Sasanqua

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this part was "julius' eyesight worsens once he starts using ludger's pocketwatch for his chromatus and ludger comments too innocently on it for him not to feel guilty".

It was a calm evening. Work hadn't been too demanding that day, and things had been getting more manageable now that he was putting Ludger's watch to use. As long as Ludger didn't find out about it, everything would be fine. If he knew, Ludger would've surely objected to everything he was doing and tried to force him to stop. That wasn't even the worst possibility. Of course, Julius also considered the possibility that he might despise him and fear him if he knew of the terrible sorts of things he did in those fractured dimensions.

He was a horrible person, and he was horrible for hiding it from him. But he really loved Ludger, and, if it meant that he could keep the smile on Ludger's face, then he wanted to at least keep pretending that he was someone worthy of his affection.

Ludger wanted to help him in any way he could, which was why he ended up cooking for him and taking care of all of the chores. It was more than any boy his age would've been expected to do, but he performed all of his tasks with enthusiasm, never voicing a single complaint. He greeted him every day with a smile on his face, with a clean house, with a delicious meal on the table.

When he went into the fractured dimensions carrying Ludger's watch, he felt like he had a piece of his brother with him. Once he entered a fractured dimension, he wasn't able to leave until either he or Rideaux found and destroyed the divergence catalyst. Before, he and Rideaux would make a game out of it and see how much destruction they could create in their pursuit of the catalyst, but there were a few times when he saw things in those worlds that made him want to stay there. The lives of the other Juliuses were so nice sometimes, unburdened by the cruel obligations of an agent.

He still found himself feeling jealous of them at times, but now he knew that he had something that no other dimension had, and that gave him reason to seek the catalyst as quickly as possible to return to the one who was waiting for him.

“Won't be much longer!”

Julius looked up, snapping out of his thoughts when he realized that Ludger was talking to him. For a distressing moment, Ludger's face looked blurry. It wasn't the first time that had happened, but this was the first time that his face wasn't completely coming into focus.

Ever since he started using Ludger's watch...

“Big brother?”

Ludger wiped his hands on his apron and started coming nearer, but Julius didn't want him to start worrying about him. It was much too soon for either of them to worry about something like this. He'd only just started using the watch.

This could be bad. He told himself not to panic, but then he remembered the gashes on his back. They hadn't been easy to bandage on his own, but they were easy to hide from Ludger. Though he'd blamed them on his own carelessness, he knew that some of his recent injuries were a result of his failing vision. He didn't know how much worse it was going to get...

But he couldn't let Ludger worry. He couldn't let him find out about his injuries, about how he received them, about what he was really doing to support them.

Quickly, he put on a mask.

With a forced smile, he stood and went over to the counter before Ludger could move. Once he was closer, he felt relieved that he could still see Ludger's face perfectly.

“What's up? Do you want me to help with anything?”

Ludger's face lit up, any worry erased. “Really? Well, if you're really willing to help...” He probably had everything handled already, but he looked around, holding a finger to his bottom lip as he thought. Hopping onto his toes, he pointed to the utensils hanging above the stove that were just out of his reach. “I need the big serving spoon for the sauce, then the plates.”

That was simple enough. As long as he didn't have to directly help with the food, he was sure that he couldn't screw anything up. He tried making dinner on his own before, and it just never turned out quite right...

If Ludger tried to reach for the spoon now, he would've had to lean over the hot stove, and he probably would have gotten himself burned. Julius enjoyed feeling like a useful big brother for these little things. With his height, it was easy to reach over the pot and grab for the-

“Big brother!”

Pain suddenly bloomed in right hand, and he pulled back, holding his aching hand in the other. When he uncurled his fingers and looked down at his hand, there was blood all over his palm. It was hard to tell where it was even coming from until Ludger rushed over with a damp towel and started dabbing at it. Julius was just so confused by what had even happened that he didn't question Ludger as he dropped everything to tend to him.

“I said I needed the spoon!” he said, his brows pulled together.

Panicking, Julius looked back up. His vision swam as he tried to focus on the rack where the utensils were hanging. Squinting, he brought them into focus. The spoon was still hanging there, but the knife beside it had clear evidence of blood on it.

There was no way he would have knowingly grabbed a knife by the edge.

“Why the hell do we even have a knife there? Knives go in a knife block,” he muttered, annoyed at himself for the stupid oversight. Knowing that Ludger was the one who handled the cooking now, he should have made sure that the kitchen was more safe.

Ludger sighed and made him keep the towel pressed down over his fingers as he went to retrieve some bandages from the bathroom cabinet. Acting like he was the mature one, Ludger guided him back to the table when he returned and made him sit so he could put the bandaids on for him.

“Knives go in a knife block, but we don't _have_ a knife block. Maybe someone should get me one?”

“Y-yeah,” Julius mumbled, embarrassed even further when he felt his face heating up. “I'll get you whatever you think we need. You're the one who knows how to handle the kitchen. Anytime I try to help, something bad happens. I guess it's a sign.”

Ludger giggled, and Julius was glad that he could still laugh even when he saw him bleeding. Once he had bandaids on the three fingers that had been cut, Ludger held up his own hand that featured bandaids on the same fingers and too-cheerfully remarked that they matched. Seeing Ludger's bandaged fingers reminded him of all the effort that his little brother made for him every day.

If Ludger saw his injuries, would he feel proud of him, too?

“Hey...”

Julius looked up at him, giving him his attention, and swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat.

“Did you grab that because you couldn't see it?” Ludger asked. Immediately, Julius began to worry that he had noticed. “How old do you have to be to wear glasses? I thought that glasses were for old people, but then I saw other boys who looked your age wearing glasses, too.”

Feeling extremely relieved, Julius let out the breath he'd been holding. It all made sense. He was just worrying too much because of the position he was in. Because Ludger didn't know anything about his job, he had no reason to think that his weak vision and poor depth perception were anything more than a simple case of near-sightedness. And maybe that was all it was. He'd never had a problem with his vision before, but it might have just been a coincidence that it became noticeable when he started using Ludger's watch.

“Wait,” he said, eyes narrowing as he thought about what Ludger said. “Are you calling me old?”

“No, but glasses might make you look old,” Ludger joked, laughing. When he noticed the way Julius was deflating at the thought of looking older, he waved his hands around and tried to pick him back up. “It's fine! I bet you'll look good! You'll look, uh... Really refined and dignified! People who wear glasses look smart and responsible, and you're all of those things!”

So he was saying that they would reflect his personality. Glasses might not be too bad after all if it meant that others might see him in the glorified way that his little brother saw him.

Close enough to see him well, he put a hand on Ludger's head to ruffle his hair and leaned up to give him a little kiss on the forehead. It made Ludger fidget, but he was still smiling shyly when Julius pulled away.

“M-make sure you get an appointment with an eye doctor, alright?”

Julius wasn't sure that he was the responsible one anymore. It felt more like Ludger was the one who was in control.

He nodded and promised that he would call the doctor in the morning.

Seeming satisfied with that, Ludger went back to the stove to handle the rest by himself.

It didn't matter how bad his vision became. It wasn't anything worth blaming Ludger for. He was using Ludger's power, but he was using it as a means to protect the both of them.

He could lose his vision and everything else as long as he still had his little brother.


	4. A Wheel of Anemone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt for this part was "julius visits a fractured dimension where ludger is the key of kresnik and bisley took him in instead".

Julius had a certain habit when a fractured dimension's point of entry took him to Trigleph. It was a bad idea, and he always told himself that he shouldn't, but he always found himself walking back home, following the same road he took every night when he left work. Often, the deviation factors were so low that he felt like he was at home. But those oddly sepia-colored worlds weren't his own. No matter how similarly they mirrored his world, he had only one true home, only one real, true brother.

His own life was horribly flawed, but no world could hope to achieve the perfection of the prime dimension as long as Ludger existed within it.

This fractured dimension was somewhat unique compared to most he'd visited. Although it didn't have the highest deviation he'd ever seen, it still had a rather high predicted rate of deviation at 1.12. Most of them never broke a full mark and stuck closely to what he was used to in the prime dimension, so he was interested in seeing what sort of differences he would notice, especially seeing that Trigleph was its point of entry.

He found himself in the commercial district upon entering. Deciding to take his time for the moment, he walked around and checked out some of the shops, talked to some of the people. The tensions between Elympios and Rieze Maxia were still high, and there was still no word on whether a peace treaty would be signed. Much like in the prime dimension, it sounded like Spirius was refusing to support the research of spyrite technology, likely due to Bisley's persistent intolerance of Spirits.

It was unclear what made this world any different from his own until he went back home. He followed the same old path up to the park and entered the apartment building. The landlady looked at him like she'd just seen a ghost and remarked that she thought she had just seen him go upstairs. Realizing that his double must be in their apartment, he begrudgingly accepted that he wouldn't be able to go up without invoking an unusual confrontation.

Instead, he chose to see what he could find out from her. It had always been a lot easier to pull out his blades and start slaughtering people carelessly until the world shattered around him, but Ludger had tempered him. He wasn't able to act that way any longer, so he went about finding the catalysts the old fashioned way, even if it were the slowest way. Rideaux made fun of him for how 'soft' he had become, but Julius couldn't feel offended – not after Ludger had shown him how admirable soft people were.

When he asked her about Ludger, she stared at him, confused.

She didn't understand. She didn't know why he knew Spirius's greatest agent.

It suddenly made more sense, the reason why this world had a high deviation...

Without explaining any of his questions, he left the building and headed down the road toward the technology drive. He refused to believe that he and Ludger had never met each other. There were other dimensions similar to his own where he had accidentally killed Ludger along with his mother or simply killed them both to spare them from the sort of life they would've had if they had ever been found by Bisley, but he had never encountered a world where they had never met at all. If they were living in the same city, then they had to know each other.

He didn't even know why he cared so much. This wasn't his world. It was going to be destroyed soon anyway, so it didn't matter what it was like. But there was a stubborn, selfish part of him that refused to believe that any world could be so different.

If they were different... If there were worlds where he and Ludger never met each other and lived separate lives...

One day, before too long, he was going to die, and when he was reincarnated, he wanted to be with him again, and if it were possible that he would be reborn in a world where he never met Ludger, then he would rather fade away forever and never return to such a cruel world.

As he neared the Spirius building, he noticed a familiar face from far away. Even though he looked a little different, Julius's heart still foolishly reacted the same way it always did, slamming painfully against his chest. He was wearing the agents' uniform which was a sight that Julius never thought he would have to see, though he had to admit that it made him look handsome, no matter what other horrible feelings seeing it gave him. He was preoccupied, standing by the steps, checking something on his GHS. As he came closer, Julius noticed that he hadn't dyed his hair.

What were Nova and Vera like in this dimension? Was Nova's hair still as black as her sister's?

Hesitating for just a moment, Julius called out to him, and Ludger looked up, surprised to hear his name. Julius tried to keep a confident stride as he approached and regarded him calmly once he neared him.

“Julius,” Ludger said, nodding at him once. That was all. It was like he expected him to say something, but Julius had been completely taken aback, surprised to hear him greet him with his first name instead of the way he usually did, affectionately calling him 'brother'.

All things considered, there was a high probability that Ludger was the divergence catalyst of this dimension.

He hated this.

“Do you need any help today?” Julius asked.

Ludger laughed, but it wasn't the same beautiful, bright sound that his Ludger made. It sounded hollow and sarcastic, like he found something humorous about his offer. It was true that Ludger was the top agent of this dimension, but Julius didn't understand why he would find that so funny. Ludger clearly knew who he was, and, if they were still brothers, then he should have understood his desire to help him.

“Still just as needy as ever. I can see it on your face,” Ludger said, grinning as he flicked his GHS shut and slid it into the pocket inside his jacket.

Needy? He was confused. He didn't know what he was supposed to say.

“I... just saw you there and felt like talking. Isn't that alright once in a while?”

Ludger's expression hardened, his smile dropping off his face. Turning away, he began to walk away. “You have no business being here. Father will be angry if he sees you, you know.”

Having the impression that he was meant to follow him, Julius started walking alongside him, heading toward the station with him. After a few steps, Ludger's words finally registered, and Julius's eyes widened. It sounded like he was implying that he had no business even being around the Spirius building, which meant that he couldn't even be a Spirius agent in this dimension. Worse, the 'father' that Ludger had so fondly referred to could only be one man, meaning that not only did Ludger know who their father was, he was also faithfully working for him.

Halfway to the station, without stopping or turning to look at him, Ludger spoke to him in a voice that sounded all too much like the one he was used to hearing. Julius searched his face, but it was difficult to define a single emotion from his complex expression.

“You're here to save me, aren't you?”

As their top agent with evident poise and an air of superiority about him, Julius had feared that this Ludger would be drastically different from his own little brother. He was different in big ways – that was true – but he could hear it in his voice; Ludger's innocence. No matter what had happened in this world, even if Bisley had control over him, he couldn't taint Ludger's soul. That one small similarity was big enough to make Julius feel satisfied with this backwards world.

Slowing, Ludger stopped and turned to face him, but he kept his eyes on the ground. His poise was still there, but he wasn't as guarded anymore; vulnerable. A weak smile bent his lips. “You aren't my Julius, are you?”

Julius shook his head silently, paying special attention to the way he referred to him this time.

Ludger raised a hand, loosely closing his fist over his heart. “To me, Julius is... Here, we can't...” He appeared to be struggling to find the way to express it. So, simply, he said, “I'm the Key. If Julius and I try to see each other, father would kill him or tear us apart again, but I'm sure that I'm going to die soon anyway. Father will try to use me to reach Canaan.”

“That's-”

“Please,” he said, his voice tight and desperate. Tightly closing his eyes for a second or two, he steeled himself, then looked up into Julius's eyes. “This world can't be the real world. Please tell me it isn't.”

Julius couldn't blame him. Having entered so many fractured dimensions, he found himself wondering which world was the real one. Breaking them apart with his own hands was sometimes the only way for him to be sure that his world was the real one. Any world that was so easily shattered couldn't be real.

But they were all real in their own way.

The Ludger who was looking at him now with such desperate eyes was certainly there. He was real. Even if he wasn't the one Julius called his brother, there was something special about this one's heart that made him just as valid.

And, like he would for his own brother, he wanted to comfort him.

He gently placed a hand on top of his hair and pet his hair like he would for his Ludger and smiled at him in much the same way. The Julius of this world was probably just as kind. Even if they couldn't be with each other, he probably also had a smile meant just for Ludger.

When he felt him shudder, he opened his arms and let him come closer. It didn't matter if anyone from Spirius saw them now because it would be over soon. He just wanted to give him this moment, to show him what his world was like.

Rubbing his back, he rested his cheek against the top of Ludger's head and chuckled warmly. “I knew it. You really aren't cut out for this kind of work. It must have been horrible, having all of this thrust upon you, but it'll be okay. Big brother will take care of it for you, just like I always do.”

Ludger nodded, his forehead pressed to Julius's chest.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Leaving things at that, Julius drew one of his blades and thrust it through his chest. A ticking catalyst emerged and shattered once exposed, and the distorted world splintered along with it, coming down around him, leaving him standing in that same spot in front of the prime dimension's train station. It ended so easily, without fuss, without a fight. He wished that all fractured dimensions could be so easy to conquer, but ones like that never left him feeling accomplished. It reminded him that there was still much he had left to do. Before he could die, he needed to make sure that this world was fit for him.

He still needed to report his work, but his feet moved on their own, guiding him back to the apartment. Something inside of him shook when he saw the landlady standing near the entrance, but she smiled at him kindly and welcomed him back. There was nothing unusual about this world.

No, in this world, he was the only thing that was out of place. The darkness that was spreading from his fingertips was enough proof that he was what didn't belong.

It was still early, so Ludger wasn't expecting him. After stepping inside, he didn't bother hanging his coat. He went straight to where Ludger was sitting on the couch. Ignoring what he was saying, he sunk down in front of him and put his head in his lap.

“Wh- Brother? Are you okay? What's going on?”

As confused as he sounded, Julius felt Ludger's fingers already carding through his hair to soothe him.

“Work was... sort of stressful today,” he said, finding a way to make even the truth sound like a lie.

“Ah... I'm sure you did your best, though. You're always working hard. You have to remember to take some time for yourself, too.”

Time was something he didn't have, though, so he was going to cling to these moments because they were all he had. Soon enough, he'd be able to finally rest.

And then he could come see him again.


End file.
